Shooting ng Ina Naman...

There was a recent shooting involving a policeman, a mother and her child in Tarlac Province. There was also a video footage of the whole incident that circulated throughout social media and of course, naturally, everyone from regular people to celebrities to government officials and journalists voiced their opinions in their respective accounts. I haven't seen the video myself. I refuse to see it.

I know speaking about an issue that you haven't even seen or heard
is a bit off and just ridiculous so I won't dwell too much into this "unfortunate incident".

Besides, what is there to point out really? This isn't a matter of justifying the decisions and actions of either side. There is not even the slightest need to uncover their previous interactions. There should be no debate between two political parties. This is completely black and white. The policeman was at fault. Regardless of past events, regardless of whose perspective you'd like to understand, it is what is, the policeman made a rushed... terrible, horrible judgement. Fueled by years and years of experience dealing with the same scenario which held him high on the pedestal in the eyes of the people around him. People who can only tolerate his antics and egoistic ramblings.

I have no ifdea who the policeman is or his background, I didn't do any research on him, I can only assume based on the numerous comments describing the incident and the transcript of events from several journalists. It felt like he was way too confident, fuck this, arrogant about the whole situation. I have held a gun myself and I understand the weight that it bears and I'm not talking about its composition and atomic mass. The fact that he was able to point the gun against the victims' heads... there must be a higher power in the worst sense urging him to do the deed.

Oo, kasalanan talaga ni Jonel Nuezca. Sa mga oras na yun... mula sa oras na naisipan niya maging alagad ng batas, mula sa makatapos siya ng pagpupulis sa skul, hanggang sa madestino siya sa Tarlac, at hanggang sa nangyari na ang nangyari... lahat ng yun ay nauwi sa kasalanang hindi hindi na mabubura sa mata ng mga naapektuhan.

Natutunan ko habang lumalaki na mas karesperespeto ang pag-amin ng kasalanan kaysa manisi ng manisi ng iba. Mas kampante akong pasanin yung sisi kaysa gumawa pa ng mga palusot at magisip ng dahilan para mawala ang sintensya.

Pero sa sitwasyong to, pilit ko mang sisihin at ibuntong lahat nang galit kay Jonel Nuezca, Di ko mapigilang sisihin din ang ideology na inihain ng kasalukuyang gobyerno.

Totoo naman kasi, again, eto yung mga sitwasyon na wala ng maraming eksplanasyon.

Ang pagpasok sa cafeteria at sa library ay magkaibang magkaiba. Kung barubal ka sa cafeteria, pagpasok mo sa library isa ka nang maamong tupa.

Iba kasi ang nagagawa ng ambiance.. Mabigat ang ambag ng values, customs at lifestyle ng isang lugar sa mga taong naninirahan dito. Ang laki kasi ng epekto ng kultura na itinutulak ng isang lider sa kanyang mga sinasakupan.

Nakakainis lang na damay lahat ng kapulisan sa kademonyuhang to. Damay pati yung mga pulis na may sinserong pagmamahal sa serbisyo.
Nakakalungkot lang din na damay pati ang buong bansa sa insidenteng to.

Sagad na naman ang comments at tweets na: "Ang hirap talaga dito sa PINAS" "Ganto naman sa PINAS e" "Sana sa ibang bansa nalang ako nakatira" "Palala na ng palala ang PILIPINAS" 
 
PILIPINAS PILIPINAS PILIPINAS

Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit yung bansa yung nasisisi. Syempre nga naman ang bansa ay binubuo ng mga tao neto, kultura, tipo ng gobyerno at iba pa... actually marami pa.

Pero baka naman pwede natin isisi kay Jonel Nuezca lang. Siya lamang.
Baka naman pwede i-edit out na natin yung Pilipinas sa social rant mo.

Hindi naman ganong kabango yung pangalan natin sa mundo, mismong sa pinas nga, di na maayus yung amoy e... baka naman pwedeng wag na nating babuyin pa.

"Hindi lang naman sa Pinas nangyayari yan e"

Alam ko masakit na sa tenga to.
Kasi this implies na "okay" lang mangyari to, kasi nangyayari naman pala sa ibang bansa e.

TSK!

Hindi naman talaga ganito ang implication ng "reasoning" na yan.

Lumaki kasi tayong iniisip na laging Pilipinas LANG ang mali. Na TAYO LANG ang ganito, na sa atin lang nangyayari to. "Only in the Philippines" diba?

Pero kasi tong putanginang "Only in the Philippines" na to, dinukdok sa isipan at kamalayan natin na dahil Pinoy tayo, kaya tayo ganito. Na dahil Pilipinong dugo ang nananalaytay satin, kaya tayo tamad, corrupt, laging late, ningas kugon, kelangan may lunch hours sa govt. office, mapanglait, sensitib, utak talangka, jejemon.

Laging "Pinoy kasi e".

Hindi man lang naituro satin ng fast food commercial na nagpauso ng "Only in the Philippines" na baka lahat ng Third World countries may ganitong kaugalian. Baka naman dahil sa topography at geographical landscape ng bansa kaya tayo laidback, Baka naman dahil na colonized tayo ng iba't ibang bansa kaya ang lakas ng appeal ng mapuputi satin. Baka naman kasi sadyang malapit tayo sa Equator kaya napipilitan tayong mag jay walk nalang kesa maglakad ng dalawang kilometro para umakyat sa overpass na may 195 steps.

Baka naman may ibang dahilan kung ba't tayo ganito't ganoon, bukod sa "Pinoy kasi e".

The thing is, living outside the Philippines taught me so many things about it. Dami kong nakasalamuha na taga ibang bansa na may same stories kagaya ng satin. Apparently lagi din sila late, may transaction "under the table", uso din pala sa kanila ung palakasan system, naniniwala din pala sila sa utang na loob sa mga magulang, priority din pala nila yung mga puti sa bansa nila.

Alam ko napaka hipokrito neto na ng galing sakin kasi dito na ko nakatira sa Canada. Napansin ko din naman na unti unti narin akong nawawalan ng sasabihin tungkol sa Pinas sa blog na to. Hindi kagaya dati na puro "Pinoy Pride" yung tema ng posts ko.

Para kasing nawalan narin ako ng karapatan mag ka opinyon kasi hindi naman ako direktang apektado sa kung anong meron sa Pinas. Napaka-hipokrito. Nakakalungkot kasi kelangan kong maramdaman to.

Lalo pa't nakikita ko yung mga kakilala kong post ng post tungkol sa Pinas. Punong puno na ng political rants, social comments at public discourse yung Sscial media accounts ko.

Not that I'm upset that my friends are very vocal about these important matters regarding my home country. Of course I'd like everyone to be involved. It is quite nice to know that they are intrigued enough to engage in a political discussion.

Mejo off lang talaga na when I think about how they were before the advent of facebook and twitter. Uhmm where were these people before opinions became cool and trendy.

You have been posting 853 selfies, sharing memes, and liking flirty timeline posts all your life then one day you wake up and suddenly you're a Pulitzer award winner for journalism. It's just... I mean.. I'm not mad nor bitter... but a bit surprised.. and confused.

But regardless, whether it's a trend or a genuine sentiment, if it will keep the news running until a resolution, then fucking why not.

Maybe post your tiktok video in an hour or two, after you post a heavy-hitting editorial piece, so people might believe you actually mean it.

Who knows, Rizal might be stating facts when he said jejemons and tiktokers are in fact the only hope for the country.

Anak ng Tupa Naman O!

Madami akong ugali na pinapasalamatan ko. Pero

kung meron man akong isang pinagmamalaking proud na proud ako, ay ang pagiging humble, pero joke lang, eto yung pagiging open-minded.

 

Siguro dahil nadin lumaki ako sa lugar kung saan meryenda ang tsismisan, o pass-time ng mga tao magkaroon ng issue sa isa't isa, nakasanayan kong makinig sa ibat-ibang bersyon ng storya. Natutunan kong pakinggan muna yung lahat ng sides bago magkaroon ng sariling opinyon.

 

Kumbaga yung concept ng perspective, masyado kong nabigyan ng importansya. Dahil dito, lumawak yung pagunawa ko sa mga bagay-bagay. Sa bandang dulo naman kasi, respeto lang talaga yung kelangan pairalin sa umpisa. Kasi kung walang respeto ang isang tao sa sasabihin ng isa, hinding-hindi siya makikinig sa opinyon ng sino man. At kung makinig nga di magawa, umintindi pa kaya. At Kung umintindi nga, pahirapan, pano pa kaya ang pag-tanggap.

 

Recently, napapadalas ang pagpunta ko sa isang "Christian" Church. Catholic ako talaga pero nagpaplano akong mag convert sa future. Maliban sa naeenjoy ko yung mini-concert, at libreng pakape, Naaaliw ako sa paraan ng pag-tuturo ng pastor ng Gospel. Parang classroom.

Matagal nadin naman ako naeenganyo sa "Christian" Church sa Pinas palang.(In quotes kasi wala ako idea kung Christian ba talaga yung tamang term.) Lakas kasi ng ercon, lagi pa katabi ng Shakeys.

 

Pero in all seriousness, besides the obvious reasons and the huge difference in their routine, the Catholic Church and the "Christian" teachings aren't really that different. So far a.. according sa pagiintindi ko. I'm pretty sure they may believe differently in some aspects, but

when you remove all the pretention and the glorified facade on both sides, parang pareparehas lang naman. God is good. Love one another. Truth will set you free. Home is where the heart is. Live laugh love, at kung ano-ano pang home decor quotes ng isang 27 years old na dalagang nakabili ng condo sa BGC.

 

Nagkaiba lang talaga sa paraan ng pag pi-preach at ng ceremony. Example, sa Catholic Church kasi sobrang routine-based. As in panahon pa ata ni Matusalem, ganon na ata yung routine. Song number, Gospel, Homily, song no., ostia, hingi pera, song no., hingi pera part 2 just in case may tinatago-tago ka pang bente jan, at yung pabati ni Father. Pero kahit ganito, na-aappreciate ko yung paraan ng "Homily" ng Catholic Church. Kasi, parang, G lang. Kwento lang siya ng experience niya o ng kapitbahay nya. I-rerelate niya lang yung Gospel sa totoong buhay. Tapos ikaw na bahala kung pano mo gagamitin un sa pangaraw araw mong buhay.

 

Sa "Christian" naman, simple lang, concert muna, 3 sets ng kanta, audience participation, welcoming speech ni pastor kasama yung asawa niya na amen ng amen sa tabi, tapos short powerpoint presentation, tapos pahapyaw ng pahingi pera din WITH! bible verse para mejo nakaka-uplift. Mas holy yung panghihingi, tapos lecture na ni pastor hanggang matapos.

 

Dito naman sa "Christian", wala ata Gospel, parang may curriculum na sinusunod. Kumbaga may pagdugtong-dugtong ng lessons every week.

 

Gulat ko nalang ng naglabas ng mga notebook at ballpen yung mga tao. Kala ko may exam!

Sa totoo lang, mas nagagandahan ako sa paraan ng pagtuturo ng Christians, kasi lecture talaga siya. Haha di ko maexplain. Pero gusto ko yung idea na pag may pangaral si pastor, may verse siya lagi for reference. Kumbaga gamit na gamit yung Bible. At dahil may "ebidensya" yung mga turo ni pastor based sa Bible, tingin ko mas "naniniwala" yung mga tao sa lahat ng sinasabi ni Pastor. Kumbaga may collective na "oonga oonga" yung buong auditorium everytime na mag-lilitanya siya.

 

Dito ngayon dapat papasok yung pagiging open minded ko diba? Yung pinagmamalaki kong pakikinig at paguunawa at pagtanggap sa bawat sides....

Boom! BAT ANG HIRAAAP!!!

Sa totoo lang, bakit hirap na hirap ako tangkilikin ng buong puso yung lecture ni pastor. Yung pag may sinabi siyang preachings, lagi may boses sa utak ko na "uhm... pero... kasi.. teka lang a... huh?? " Puro ganon, yun nga ata yung tinatawag nilang demonyo, kasi distraction siya sa pananampalataya mo e. Pero talong talo ako dito. Pero sa Catholic Church, once na lumuhod na ko, na may ostia sa bibig, daig ko pa si Tanjiro sa pagpatay ng mga demonyo. As in payapa, dasal talaga kung dasal.

 

Then I realized, It really has nothing to do with the scriptures. It has nothing to do with God, or the Christian teachings, it's with the People and the institution that I have a problem with.

 

I grew up questioning everything and I'm a natural born skeptic. I can't just accept things in an instant without questions asked.

 

Granted that I truly believe that God and the Bible means all the good in the world. That I respect them spiritually, that I believe in its glory and power. But somehow when The word comes out of someone, very human, I start to doubt its intentions and meaning.

 

Masyado kasi convenient.

Convenient talaga yung term na lagi ko naiisip when it comes to religion. It always benefits the one more than the other.

 

Parang, okay, you will be save for sure... pero, however, but, you have to be this, give that, sacrifice this, follow that, go through this....

Or We should all not be afraid, Fear is the demon. Stop being afraid...Uhm.. koya, ang hirap kasi hindi maging afraid kung andami mo ng kakilalang may Covid.

 

Klaruhin ko lang ah, kung talagang asa Bibliya man yung isang teaching, yung tipong as in lumabas sa bibig ni Papa Jesus, yung hindi lang conveniently sinulat ng "sumulat" ng Bible for self-serving purposes, FINE, I can respect that. Pero ang hindi ko lang matanggap e yung instant na pag "amen" ng mga tao. Yung 99% ata ng mga tao sa paligid ko "Yes", "Praise him", "Amen", tapos ako, "Talaga ba?"

 

Anak ng tupa talaga! Sheeps! sunod ng sunod. Sunod ng sunod kay Pastor at kay pastor lang.

And here lies the problem for me. When you follow blindly and solely in one person, you tend to believe him and him alone, and you stick with it. You fight for it.

 

So everytime the pastor says something like...

Water is wet!! Fire is Hot! When you're hurt, it's painful! Tomorrow is another day!

and his followers go wild with the yooohooos! and the raising of hands and shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally ok with that, different strokes, different folks kinda thing... but the moment they preach unto you, (which they do)... when they start correcting you and shoving what's right and wrong down your throats... that's when the least known Gifts of the Holy Spirit comes into play--- sarcasm and condescension. 

 

Bukod pa, kadalasan ng mga sumasali sa grupo na'to e yung may mga nakaraang hindi masyadong nakikita sa GMRC book. Kaya mejo masakit sa tenga pag sila pa yung numero unong mag sasabi sayo na "Huy, mali yang ginagawa mo kasi hindi siya tama" o "Dapat ganito ang ginagawa mo kasi naku naku naku sinasabi ko sayo... hays maniwala ka sakin".

Kung tutuusin naman, masaya naman ako sa pagbabago nila. I mean, ano bang alternative? maging mas masama sila? ofcourse I'd like them to choose THE better path. But once they succumb their identity to the "light", I only ask that they stay patient with us "sinners" and wait for us to learn from our mistakes.

 

They made a decision, they made a mistake, they struggled, they failed, they tried again, they gave up. They offered themselves to God. They basically asked for the cheat codes and got through the hard parts.

 

But there are still people out there who's fighting. There are still people who would like to enjoy the game, testing their limits, using the Gifts from the Holy Spirit. Fortitude, Wisdom, Understanding, Piety, Counsel, Knowledge and Fear of the lord and many more!

I'd like to think that God is more understanding of our humanity than our spiritual leaders on Earth.

Pero the worst part is yung sasabihan ka pa ng... "Masyado ka kasing matalino" kapag sagad na sila sa pader at wala na silang ma-isagot sa argument mo.

 

When I think about how I feel about any of these, I guess, ultimately, I just don't like when hipocrites lecture me about things that are completely common sense to me. Siguro nga masyadong "nagmamatalino" ung feeling nato, pero I would've been more "open" if there is actually an argument. If there is actually someone who would step up and become human and preach minus the God-complex.

 

In retrospect, I had a teacher in highschool who teaches Christian Living and he by far was the best "Father" or pastor I could ever had. He clearly had flaws and he wasn't embarassed or scared to show it to us kids at that time. He understood and explained that the whole institution is not perfect. That we can only do so much goodness, because we are human. I really did learn so much from him 'coz for one thing, he welcomed critisism without resulting to "masyado ka kasing matalino". In his teachings, I finally reconciled faith with logic wholeheartedly.

 

Hays, ewan ko ba kung bat dami kong litanya tungkol dito. Siguro naipon na ng naipon sa ilang buwan kong pakikinig kay pastor. Bakit nga ba ako nagtitiis kung dami ko naman palang reklamo. Ewan ko ba. Baka anak ng tupa din talaga ako.