Idol Idol Idol ko si Kap

Sana talaga mapatawad niyo pa ko sa kakornihan ng title. Ayan lang talaga yung naiisip ko tuwing naaalala ko yung salitang "idol".

Anlaking parte ng salitang yan sa buhay ng bawat isa kung tutuusin. Hindi lang talaga natin masyadong binibigyan ng pansin kasi nahihiya, mali, siguro naiilang tayong aminin sa sarili natin na me hinahangaan tayong tao na pakiramdam natin, ay mas nakatataas satin. Kumbaga masusugatan yung ego mo pag inisip mo na sana parehas kayo ng sapatos na sinusuot.

Pero nag-eemo lang talaga ako para may impact at para kunyari malalim yung topic. 

Growing up, we automatically consider our parents as our first "idols". We see them as role models who can't do wrong. Whatever they consider right and good will instantly be right and good in our eyes. Later on, we meet certain people who will teach us that the world is not exactly black and white. You start to formulate your own thoughts and beliefs. You eventually start to think that maybe there's another way to look at things. A different perspective. 

Suddenly you'll be asking yourself if you still consider your parents as role models. Whether in a good way or not, Because your parents might actually be a positive influence on you, but since you started living your own life, you get to decide if you go off the rails or stay in the righteous lane. 

Regardless, you search for someone to look up to. Again, this is a reality that we keep on shoving down the deepest part of our subconscious. We look up to our teachers, our seniors, our uncles, aunts, a freaking celebrity, a friend. You can't help falling in love with the idea that there's someone out there that you wanted to emulate, because why not? You believe that their life is the kind of life you wanted to have in the long run. 

Meron akong isang teacher dati, sobra sobrang idol ko siya. Napakatalino. Kumbaga nilamon ako ng husay niya sa pang-gagago. Sa mabuting paraan. Higit kasi sa lahat, bilib na bilib ako sa mga matatalinong tao, hindi ung tipong pinakyaw na lahat ng Best In... sa graduation a. Kumbaga marunong siyang makinig, at magisip, at alam niya kung kailan siya dapat magsalita at kung ano ang dapat sabihin, at kung kailan dapat tumahimik. Yung mga katangian ng isang matalinong tao para sakin. 

Tapos ayun na nga, one time, exam, nakaupo ako sa may malapit sa pintuan, bale malapit sa hallway, tapos kumuha siya ng upuan tapos umupo siya sa hallway, katabi ko. Tapos, edi ako tong focused na focused sa test diba, bigla ba namang nilabas yung pitaka niya tapos pinakita yung picture ng kabit niya sakin. HAHAHAHAHHA tangina talaga, tapos sabi niya, OUT OF NOWHERE, OUT OF NOWHERE, "Wag kang makukuntento sa isa." Tapos tumayo na siya tapos umalis nalang.

WTF!!! Hindi ko alam kung pumasa ako dun sa exam na yun. Pero hindi na mahalaga sakin, hanggang ngayon iniisip ko parin kung bakit siya lumapit sakin para sabihin lang yun, tsaka.... BAKIIIT???! 

Thing is, I placed him in a pedestal. I saw him as someone who believes in logic, morality, and all the right things in the world. And that moment, His casually dropping by to say that he's cheating on his wife, I felt betrayed. The fucked up part is that it's not even his fault. He doesn't owe me an explanation. He doesn't even know that I idolize him at all.

Pero ngayon, napapaisip narin ako, baka naman yung asawa yung may diperensya. I didn't know the whole story. I shouldn't have judge him right away. All things considered, I still respect him as an educator. Because he wasn`t  just great at it, he was excellent. 

Now, I can't really find one person that I truly admire. I don't know anyone who I wanted to be inspired by. Maybe because I've grown a lot since then. I've been exposed to a lot of inspiring shits that left me disappointed in the end. There's been a lot of times when I admire someone at first and later realized that it was just a cover, and what's underneath is nothing but flaws layered with mistakes sprinkled with wrong decisions. 

Mismo yung mga magulang mo, asa pedestal sila e. You respect and adore them all your life. Tapos gigising ka one time marerealize mo na tao lang talaga sila. Nagkataon lang na mas nauna silang naging Adults kesa sayo. Pero sa bandang huli, tao lang talaga sila na me karapatang magkamali. Meron kang karapatang husgahan sila, pero wala kang karapatan mag reklamo pag ikaw naman ang hinusgahan kapag oras mo na't ikaw na ang nasa posisyon nila. 

Sa bandang huli kasi, wala namang problema sa paghanga. Siguraduhin mo lang na kung hahanga ka, wag sana yung buong pagkatao ng isang tao dahil madidismaya ka lang. Piliin mo yung mga parteng makikinabang ka at yung may maidadagdag sa pagkatao mo. 

Lagi nalang kasing, Idol ko yan kasi mayaman, kaso maitim yung batok. Idol ko yan kasi maganda kaso mabaho yung paa. Idol ko yan kasi sobrang mabait kaso may buhoy sa utong. Tipong, Pili ka lang. Wag sugapa. 

On the other hand, paano kung ikaw naman ang iniidolo? Hindi ka naman masiyadong maapektuhan unless malalaman mo mismo na idol ka pala. Kasi kahit sabihin mo pang hindi mo ginustong ilagay ka sa pedestal,hindi mo mababago na may gustong sumunod sa mga pinaggagawa mo. Somehow mararamdaman mong dapat maging maingat ka kasi iingatan mo yung reputasyon at imahe mo. Unti unti mong mararamdaman na ginagawa mo na yung ibang bagay para sa kanila at hindi dahil sa kagustuhan mo.

Si kap, Idol mo pa ba talaga? Pagkatapos ng lahat ng pagpapatawa nila ni Ruffa Mae ng mahabang taon, Idol mo pa ba si Kap?