"Panatang Makabayan, Mejo Iniibig Ko Ang Pilipinas.."

Honestly, I don't know any Filipinos who can truly say that they LOVE the country. Not the way that I do at least. I have a friend who is half Chinese, and when I asked that friend to choose to be either pure Chinese or pure Filipino, my friend without hesitation, wanted to become purely Chinese. I don't remember if I asked why, but I do remember my friend justifying that choice by listing down the things my friend hated about being Filipino.  

Bilang bitter ako at mejo gago, sinabi ko nalang, "Sa tingin mo ba kung ginera tayo ng mga Intsik, tapos pagpapatayin lahat ng mga Pilipino, sa tingin mo ba ililigtas ka nila? Haha sabi niya naman "Siyempre hindi." Malamang. 

Alam kong wala namang patutunguhan yung usapan naming yun. Gusto ko lang siguro siyang masaktan kasi nasaktan ako sa sagot niya. Tanong tanong pa kasi ako.

Mejo OA, alam ko, pero nasasaktan talaga ko kapag may mga Pilipinong mas gugustuhin pang ipinanganak sa ibang lahi. Hindi rin naman nila kasalanan yun, o kumbaga, ano bang pake ko sa gusto nila sa buhay nila. Nai-share lang naman.

There was also that one friend who not necessarily wanted to be born with a different nationality, but would rather live in a western country. See, I don't blame that friend, it is a matter of preference after all. That I understand. If my friend wanted that kind of Western lifestyle, then so be it. Again, it's a matter of preference. It shouldn't actually matter. One should be allowed to emigrate if one desires to.

Pero andami kasi nila. Andami nilang mas gugustuhin sa ibang bansa nalang manirahan. Parang yun na yung pinaka pangarap nila sa buhay. Halos lahat ng Pilipinong nakakausap ko dito, given the chance, they'd rather stay here and live the rest of their lives in Canada. Because why the fuck not? Canada is probably the best country in the world. That's coming from a person who's never been to any other country. Please disregard this opinion. But fuck, life is good here. Life is definitely 85% better here, but life is probably 85% better in any other first-world country, compared to the Philippines anyway. 

I have no fucking idea why I can't seem to let go of the Philippines. Believe me I tried. I tried remembering how shitty the traffic in the Philippines is. I keep on telling myself that WIFI is garbage there. I wanted to hate the country so bad. Just to finally move on and live the rest of my life in this almost perfect haven called Canada. 

But I can't, at least for now.

Lalo't tumaas pa yung interes kong umuwe sa bansa dahil si Duterte na ang presidente. Duterte's rise to the presidency felt like it's the first time in a very long time that Filipinos found a common ground. Not everyone of course, but I personally don't know anyone who hates him based on what I see on my Facebook timeline, which apparently is my source of news.

Yung mga may ayaw lang sa kanya ay yung mga kilala kong sobrang religious, na naiintindihan ko naman. Ayoko din naman na gustuhin nila si Duterte kung totoo ang mga balibalita tungkol sa mga extra-judicial killings. Hayaan ko nalang silang maging banal. Kelangan may balance talaga ang lipunan. Pangit naman kung lahat pabor sa kamatayan ng lahat ng kriminal diba. Masyadong dark. 

Maliban sa mga religious na tao, napansin ko lang din na hindi masyadong pabor yung mga Pinoy na nanirahan na't namuhay sa ibang bansa kay Duterts. Yung mga Pinoy na na-impluwensyahan na ng husto ng kanlurang kaisipan. Yung mga middle-class sa ibang bansa pero elitista pag-nagbakasyon sa Pinas. Yung mga nilamon na ng buo ng maunlad at sibilisadong pamumuhay sa isang First-world country.

Sibilisado. I try to go on twitter and read tweets about Duterte, honestly, I rarely see any Fil-ams who tweet good things about him though. (so I'm gonna fucking use "Fil-ams" to refer to every expats ok?! but it doesn't necessarily mean they're from the US, fuck formalities and political correctness.)  What hurts the most is when you see them agreeing or patronizing an opinion from a foreigner who doesn't know anything about the whole story, or the whole country for that matter. I understand it's their right to say what they feel, or approve of whatever they think is correct, or funny perhaps, but... I just really hope they stayed silent instead you know? 

Believe me, I get that we should be able to criticize the government and all, check and balance and shit, but I kinda wish everyone would just have a conversation on how shitty the Philippines is, with people who lives in it instead... with people who actually cares about the country. But free speech huh. Sige, kwento dito kwento jan, bigay ng masamang opinyon sa bansang nagpalaki sayo hanggang sumaya ang tingin mo sa sarili mo.

I guess what's really bothering me is the fact that Fil-ams are allowed to talk shit about the Philippines all they want and are still able to go on vacation any time they please. You know, they get the best of both worlds. If there's a bombing, or a terrorist attack in the Philippines, they're the first ones to criticize the country, and tells everyone how fortunate they are that they're no longer living there, but come Christmas time, they get to go back and celebrate the fuck out of the lechon and appreciate how fun the holiday season is back home.

Alam mo yun, may krimen sa bansa, hindi ako Pinoy, pag nanalo si Pacqiuao, proud to be Pinoy. Wow. Panalong panalo mga ser mga maam. Galing talaga. Congrats by the way. You won. Talong talo na kami.
Karapatan mo kasi yan e. Kalayaan mong maging balimbing.

Ganito yung pakiramdam ko. May isang magulang na pinaampon yung anak niya sayo. Tinanggap mo ng buong buo yung anak niya at minahal mo na parang sayo. Inalagaan mo't pinalaki at naging successful. Tapos yung tunay na magulang, ayun, nag Japan, namuhay ng matiwasay. Picture picture sa Cherry Blossoms. Nagenjoy sa buhay. Tapos isang araw naisipang bawiin yung anak niya sayo. Tapos yung anak naman sumama sakanya. Tapos ikaw, ayun, naiwan magisa, nageemo.

Sobrang walang ka kwenta-kwenta ang analogy ko, pero yung pakiramdam ng umampon, yun yung pakiramdam ko tuwing may isang Fil-am na nageenjoy sa ibang bansa pero nakukuha paring mag enjoy sa Pinas kahit "sinusumpa sumpa" niya na daw at "hindi na daw babalik". 

What's even worse, is if you actually live in the country and still manage to hate the shit out of it. Like all you do is complain, but have never done anything to contribute to its improvement. I just wish I have the power to send everyone who hates the country to some place else granted they'll NEVER come back. I really feel like we'll be doing each other a favor, and the whole country as well. 

Our lack of patriotism is the main reason why I support Duterte all the way. He makes you feel like he genuinely cares about the country above else.
I feel like we've been bending over to the rest of the world for so long. It needs to stop. We need to feel like we have our own identity. We can't always be in the shadows of the more powerful countries. 

We need to make a stand. We can't keep bowing to the opinion of the international community. They should not dictate who we are and what we should like. Let's stop asking for their validation and their approval.



Kung naghahanap kayo ng example, punta lang kayo sa mga reaction videos sa Youtube about sa kahit anong Pinoy related. Bakit parang ang saya saya natin pag-pinupuri tayo ng mga banyaga jusku. Ano ba yun, masayado tayong papapel sa international community, kelangan lagi tayong included.

We're just becoming so needy and desperate for attention. Why is it an issue if Duterte is seated beside Obama or not? Does he become a less respectable leader if he's not seated next to the president of the most powerful country in the world? 

We now have a leader who could care less about the international communities' perception towards him. Does it not make you proud to have a leader who doesn't kiss ass for the rest of his term? Would you rather have him bending over and get fucked by the rest of the world? Can't we just be proud that finally, we have a leader who is known for his strong ideology and not for his being a pushover?

Don't get me wrong, of course it's better to be friends with every nation as much as possible. That's a given. But can we be the friend who doesn't get left behind when walking towards a narrow path? Can we be that friend who's always on the guest list? Can we be the cool kid for once? 

This is who Duterte is to me. His becoming the President of the Republic of the Philippines is the manifestation of our journey towards real patriotism. 

Give him a chance. I have no idea if he can make the Philippines a place we can all be proud of or not, but so do you. Nobody does. And God forbid, if he did fuck this country up and all you tweet is "I told you so", well.. I'm sorry, and yes, You won again. I hope you're happy.