Diskursong Bri-zal

Working at a food establishment gives me the chance to talk to people on a regular basis. And obviously, I have no choice but to converse in English. And since I don't particularly look Caucasian, customers tend to ask me where I am from originally. Well they DON'T really start the conversation with that, but for some reason, somehow, the discussion leads to that territory eventually. I always go, "Yeah I'm from the Philippines, I just got here a year ago. And the best part is their responding by "Really? You don't sound Filipino at all, Your accent is so good, blah blah, did you speak English in the Philippines? blah blah, I thought you were born here and shit." Okay so I try my hardest not to gloat as much, and try to be modest as fuck right? So I go, "Nah man, Thanks I guess? (tapos sabay tingin sa baba at iiling iling) But you know man, English is basically the second language in the Philippines, and like, we get to use English as a medium of communication in schools." (I know this is bullshit, we all know we don't really use it as often as we hoped, unless of course, when you have to in class).

Why do I keep saying that tho? I don't know, maybe because a part of me really... really wants to brag inform everyone how great Filipinos are in English. Don't get me wrong man, I am NOT absolutely fluent. If I'm really being honest, I don't feel like I can use it very well. Although I was a call center agent back home, It still didn't help me to be comfortable in speaking the language. It doesn't come off naturally. I still had to think and formulate the words in my mind before I can actually say it. And often I had to stop in between sentences and throw in the occasional uhms and aahs and the obnoxious like and you know. 

Thing is, I did put time and effort to be at least moderately able even when I was a little kid. English was my favorite subject back then. I enjoy any tests that involves grammar and vocabulary and such. If there was an assessment test that helps one figure out where he's good at, I always ace any categories that includes language. That lead me to decide to take up Hospitality Management as a course in college, well that, and because I love to cook and to travel a lot. I felt confident that I'd be great at it. I have no problems with interacting with different people with different cultural backgrounds. I enjoy getting in a conversation with guests. Most importantly, I do feel like I'd be able to handle customer complaints and discuss solutions with them. There man... that has been my Job Interview speech for years! Believe me I've said that too many times it's embedded in my brain. It hasn't failed me yet so I'll probably keep using it a little longer.

Anyway, yeah, so what's my point? I don't even know now...gonna do a lil' backreading. A'ight! So yeah, I didn't grow up speaking the language. My lifestyle doesn't exactly involve socializing with the cool kids or anyone related to a government official. In short, taena pangkanto lang talaga ang kinagisnan ko. Salitang skwater ba (explain ko to one time). At hindi ko kahit kailan naisip ikahiya yun.

People may take this the wrong way. Pwedeng sabihing "Hindi ka naman skwater", "Wala ka namang alam sa totoong paghihirap, nag-papaka down-to-earth ka lang unggoy, para ma-validate yung pinupunto mo ulul!","Taena ka nag-aral ka naman sa La Salle". Sa parehong paraan na me magsasabing, "The fuck? you're not even rich?", "Pakiramdam mo talaga sosyal ka no?", "Sus wala ka ngang mabili sa ATC".

Yes, we can say that the knowing how to speak the English language is a manifestation of ones social status. It could mean that a Filipino English speaker might have had the luxury of studying in one of the very few high-end schools in the country. Or it could mean that they grew up in an English-speaking country and just decided to live here. Or maybe, they just got influenced by the people around them constantly. Nevertheless, It wouldn't make you any less of a person if you're not familiar with using the language, despite what the comment section in Youtube says. True that it gives them a sort of advantage 'coz they can reach a wider audience, but as long as you're confident with the CONTENT of what you're saying, you're good to go. I am more impressed by people who had to learn it, than those who just happen to be born with it.

So please let me be clear, I didn't grow up in an upscale environment. But my parents made sure that I always get the best kind of upbringing they can provide. And that includes a better education. Having said all of these, It got me motivated to exert time and effort to STUDY and LEARN the English language. I scanned through grammar rules, which I no longer remember, I watched a lot of American shows, and I simply read books out loud. I even had to record myself to hear myself speaking. I've gone through all of that to prove a point-Everyone can learn. 

I didn't learn English to impress anyone or to brag about it. I actually hate it when people speak it unnecessarily. I am absolutely against anyone who intentionally speaks the language at the wrong place or with the wrong audience. I however, I was taught that when you are spoken to in English, you better respond in the same manner, that is, if you are in fact capable of doing so. And I tend to exercise that rule with my cousins who grew up here. Even if it pains me to speak in English at all times, kahit barok barok na ko't nireregla na yung ilong ko, I can't seem to respond in Filipino. I CAN'T! I feel like I'm gonna let my high-school English teacher down. It's like reflex or something, or ethics. O trauma lang talaga sa mga naubos na limang piso dati nung Grade 5 kakasalita ng Tagalog. 

Wala talaga akong nakikitang mali sa pag-aaral ng Ingles. Hindi lang dahil kailangan natin to kasi malamang sa alamang advantage sa trabaho, o kelangan mo mag abroad, o dahil para cool ka at muka kang tambay sa Greenbelt 5. Tingin ko talaga, kailangan... kasi KAYA NAMAN NATIN. There's this part of me that thinks Filipinos are physically capable of understanding the language. It's part of our daily lives. It is in fact our second language. It's a part of our culture. Even if it's not fluent at all. 

Kahit Carabao English pa yan.
Malaki ang paniniwala ko na ang Pilipino ay may angking talino sa pag-intindi at pagbigkas ng lengwaheng 'to. Me magtanong ng porenjer ke ateng nagtitinda, siguradong sigurado akong maipapaliwanag niya ke turista kung saan ang pinakamalapit na bilihan ng pokpok. O kung hindi man, me lalapit at lalapit na usiserong me bigote para magpakitang gilas at mag-papapel sa crowd. Pero syempre aantayin nya muna na madaming makarinig na siya si Bida Man--Ang taga pag ligtas ng mga nawawalang porener sa Puerto Galera.