But last Sunday during mass, I don't know what's got into me, I managed to express my, let's say disappointment, towards a brat who never stopped talking all throughout the sermon. The fucked up thing is that he was with his mother, who didn't even do anything to make him shut the fuck up. I didn't really say anything though, I just looked back at them, stared at the kid with a deadpan expression and looked at the mom right after. The mom gave an apologetic gaze, and the kid finally stopped being a degenerate. Pero umikot yung sikmura ko, hehe, naawa naman din kasi ako sa nanay, ewan ko ba, ayoko kasi ng may napapahiya, lalo pa't ako yung may kagagawan. But I still feel like I did the right thing. If you can not discipline your kid during mass, you might as well leave so others can concentrate. Kaya trip ko talaga yung sa Christian worships, yung may sariling play room para sa mga hayop na bata.
That leads me to my next topic. Parenting. Good Parenting to be exact. I was raised by two different extremes. Basically my mom was the bad cop and my dad was the good one. My mom was strict. She wasn't unreasonably strict, just enough to keep us in line. She taught us to be polite, to be punctual, thrifty, well-behaved in public, and all the other Western values. Haha, sorry, pero kasi diba? haha pag nakita mo kung pano magdisiplina ang mga puti sa mga anak nila, mabibilib ka. Although my mom also had some "local" ways to provide us with the best upbringing we can have. She used a justifiable amount of violence. And I wouldn't want it any other way to be honest. I love how she slapped the fucked out of me when she heard me curse on the dinner table. She also beat the shit out of me whenever I butt into a a grown-up conversation. There was one time, I vividly remember when she kicked me and my brother out off the room because we were fighting, and she couldn't concentrate watching her favorite telenovela. She did try to warn us first a couple of times before she decided it was enough. So yeah, we had to sleep outside the room and I remember bawling my eyes out because I was so afraid that time especially since we've been watching a lot of "Are you afraid of the dark" episodes. I was crying and crying for quite sometime thinking she would open the door and forgive us... but she didn't. I finally went to sleep outside from all the crying. See, as a mother, I don't know if she's also crying on the other side of the door, or if she even felt bad at that time, but one thing's for sure, she did the right thing. I applaud her strength, her patience and her persistence. She didn't cave in to her maternal bullshit. Ultimately, we never again fought in front oh her, we knew what the consequences are. I was afraid of her back then, I respect her now.
There were so many other instances when we experienced the Kabitenya savagery during our childhood. She always stressed the importance of being punctual. And that was the hardest part since everyone else was raised in the "Filipino time" culture, so we end up waiting for hours just to become the better person in the situation. I'm cool with that though, considering I now have to live the Western way. I'm grateful mom, just so you know.
My dad, on the other hand was my mom's opposite. He isn't exactly a disciplinarian. He was, though, a perfectionist in a way, very detail-oriented, which I feel all dads are anyway. That part of my childhood, I didn't really like as much to be honest. I am not at all a perfectionist. I am the type who knows mistakes will happen, most especially when you do something ALL the time. Mistakes, or accidents, are bound to happen. So my dad wanted everything to be exact, or just how things are SUPPOSED to be. And I can't be that. So we fight all the time, which I hate, because, my dad, despite our differences, NEVER hurt us in anyway. He was never violent. He is very diplomatic and very reasonable. He is incredibly polite and understanding. He is probably the most responsible parent I know when it comes to supporting us financially. We are not rich, but I never starved or skipped a meal because there was no food on the table. He delivered his paternal duties exceptionally. He's flawed, so is any other parent, but man he is a fucking decent father to me and my brother.
Having strict parents aren't always rainbows and butterflies. I also remember wanting to have a Vtech computer thingy since I got really jealous of a friend who has one. So what happened is, I had to be on the honor roll so I could ask for a prize. Being an honor student wasn't exactly difficult, my problem was, that the toy costs 6000 peso, which is very expensive that time, (even today) for just a toy. I really REALLY wanted to have the Vtech, but a part of me wants to just forget about it and choose something else. I believe I was in third grade, but I never forgot about that guilt feeling, and the look my parents had while buying that toy till now.
They knew I would get tired of it eventually, and they were right, I got tired of playing that fucking Vtech and I had to force myself to play with it just to make them feel like it was worth it. But fuck, these are already my problems as a little kid with conscience. I still have that Vtech in my room back in the Philippines. I feel like it serves as a reminder on how important it is to really think first before buying something you think you really REALLY like at the moment.
The reason why I had to brag about how responsible my parents are in raising us, is because I wanna stress out how important it is to have a standard or a foundation on which you're gonna have to base your way of raising your own family in the future.
If I'm fortunate, I would like to have a family of my own who lives by the same culture as I did when I was young. I want my kids to understand the value of time, money, and discipline. If I have to physically hurt them I would. I certainly would. If you have any thing against this, I hope you are convincing enough everytime you use words as a disciplinary tool... If not, I just hope my kids wouldn't be friends with your spoiled little shits.
Ang problema, tingin ko hanggang storya nalang to e. Pakiramdam ko unting-unti nang nawawalan ng kakayahan ang mga bagong magulang magpalaki ng mga bata ng ayos, lalo na sa mga magulang na naganak ng maaga. Hindi ko sinasabing "mali" yun at hindi ko rin intensyon na husgahan agad ang kakayahan nila lalo pa't madami akong kaibigang batang nagumpisa. Ang iba sa kanila ay ginagawa ang lahat para mapalaki ng tama ang kanilang mga anak, yung iba busy pang palakihin ang sarili nila. Bato-bato nalang sa langit siguro.
I just hope teen moms and dads today actually chose to be in their positions today. I hope they are actually capable of raising a decent kid. Do not let your child fill the void your parents left from your childhood. I hope it wasn't a call for attention. I hope they can admit that they have made a mistake in the past, because only then can they accept that they are responsible, and officially obligated to make right decisions from now on. Decisions that will not only affect them, but their child as well.
Hindi na ikaw ang bida. Iikot na ang mundo mo sa kanya. Uunahin mo na ang pangangailangan niya bago sayo. Pili na ang inumang pupuntahan mo, bilang na ang maliligayang oras mo, Kahit hindi mo intensyon, unti unti mong masisisi ang anak mo tuwing meron kang mga bagay na hindi mo magawa dahil sakanya.
You are supposed to be done being childish before deciding to have a child of your own. That is how it's supposed to be. But going the other way is exciting. But that thrill wouldn't last for long. Buying diapers, formula, an education, these are no laughing matter.
Habang pinapalaki mo siya, sana lang matandaan mo na magkaiba kayo nang anak mo, at hindi siya ikaw, at hindi ikaw ang mga magulang mo. Hindi mo dapat maging batayan ng tamang pagpapalaki ang mga bagay na hindi ginawa sayo ng mga magulang mo. Hindi porket hindi mo naranasang magkaroon ng barbie ay bibilhan mo na siya ng isang dosenang barbie kadabuwan. Maging risonable ka.
Your being a parent is not an excuse to vindicate yourself from the faults of your parents. You are not the priority. Your child is. Your child is the victim here. Your parents may not have provided you with the life you have hoped for, they may not have met your expectations... that is your problem. Your child's problem is having to live with the situation you put him/her into. You should be the better person. You shouldn't want your kids to turn out to be just like you. You want them to be better.
Wala ka nang magagawa, anjan ka na sa sitwasyon na yan. Pero kung sakaling inuuna mong bumili ng P1000 lipstick kesa sa gatas niya, o kung mas excited ka pang humanap ng bagong tatay ng anak mo kesa magtrabaho para sa pag-aaral niya, sana, sana man lang maturuan mong mag po at opo ang anak mo kahit papano. Kahit yung nalang.
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