Hustisya Naman O!

My dad and I were watching some news about the growing no. of homicides in Canada. They even have a graph showing the no. of incidents per province. Edmonton has 19, Toronto 26, and the others were 5 and 3 and 2 I'm not sure. That shocked the both of us to the core. Not because of how high the statistics were, but how low it was compared back home. 

The news anchors were like, This is so sad. This is a tragedy and some shit. They reacted like it was some sort of an epidemic. And my dad and I were laughing our asses off with their over reaction.

Every night. Every single night, news about massacres, homicides, murder, road accidents, shootings, stabbings, kidnappings, drug related crimes, human trafficking, anything, any crime you can imagine, is our background music during dinner. Fifty plus homicides in a year. A tragedy. How ridiculous is that? What they call a tragedy, we call a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Amusing isn't it? I hate that I'm actually amused by this. Like we just won a contest for having the most homicides a day. Like I finally found something that we're better at against Canada. Fucking ridiculous. The fucked up thing is that I'm actually battling with the idea of making this a mockery of the crime spree in the Philippines or a mockery of how pampered Canada is.

What the fuck Bri! Shit you are delusional if you think you can find a silver lining in this post. It's ridiculous if you still manage to find something good out of this situation. You will lose. And you don't go into a fight you know you'd lose. 

I thought it was just me, but my dad's reaction was what makes it interesting for me. He also found it laughable. And I'm gonna assume that we are not the only Filipinos who will feel a bit elated knowing how low the number of killings in Canada is compared to ours. Ironic.

It's not supposed to be funny. The actual crime is no laughing matter. Maybe that's it, maybe the reason why we found it amusing is mainly due to our tolerance to the issue. We were so immune to the killings that we see it as a normal occurrence. It doesn't shock us anymore, or even worry us in the slightest. Yes, there is the occasional "What happened?" "Who killed whom" but that's it. The "tragedy" ends there... or does it?

Maybe the tragedy starts when we become apathetic; knowing that someone has died and knowing that someone has killed doesn't make us scared or anxious anymore.

Naisip ko lang yung huling bes na naramdaman ko na apektado ako sa isang krimen sa Pinas. Maguindanao massacre. Hinding hindi ko ata makakalimutan 'tong kademonyohan na to. Hinding hindi mawala sa isip ko yung mga litratong kumalat sa Facebook. Hindi man ako direktang naging biktima ng masaker, bumakat parin sa isipan ko yung insidente. Nanatili na sa puso ko yung galit sa mga taong responsable sa krimen. Habang buhay ko na atang dadalhin yung galit ko sa kanila. Paano pa kaya yung mga namatayan.

Naalala ko yung isang picture ng isang nanay. Naalala ko yung damit niya. Naisip ko lang na may ganoong itsura ng damit yung nanay ko. Bigla akong natulala nun habang pinagmamasdan ung litrato. Nanay ito. May mga anak tong nagaantay sa paguwi niya. May asawa 'tong sabik na marinig kung ano ngyari sa araw niya. May mga magulang na laging iniisip siya sa bawat araw na hindi sila magkakasama. Isang nanay na bukas ang ulo, wasak ang utak at may kulay ube na katawan. Pareho sila ng damit ng nanay ko. Hindi ko kahit kailan maiintindihan kung paano magagawang mag patuloy ng mga naulila ng nanay na yun.

Isa lang si nanay sa 58 na brutal na hinalay at pinatay sa trahedya noong November 23, 2009. Hanggang ngayon wala paring malinaw at konkretong hustisya laban sa mga nasasangkot. 

Dito hindi ko magawang matawa. Kung sa totoo lang, naiiyak na talaga ako. haha. Ayoko lang ipahalata kasi katabi ko tatay ko. Pero naiiyak ako sa galit. Inis na inis ako kung paano nakalagpas to. Kung bakit NORMAL to. Sana lang talaga hindi lang ako ang nakakaalala dito, ang nagdadala ng hinanakit na to hanggang ngayon. Para kay nanay.. kay tatay at kena tito't tita. Hindi ko po kayo makakalimutan. 

I don't know if I'm ever going to feel this way about a certain crime. I hope I can still feel genuine empathy towards anyone involved. Compassion. Although if I'm really wishing for things, I hope there will no longer be a crime as savage as the Maguindanao Massacre. 

Masabi lang na mukhang terorista. Mema lang

Crime is everywhere. Everybody knows that. That's why I find it distracting when people assume heinous crime ONLY happens in the Philippines. Like everyone in Mindanao is a terrorist. Or that everyone in Tondo is a felon. Stereotypes. Of course there's a certain truth to it. All stereotypes do. But the fact that we don't allow ourselves to see beyond that is inexcusable. 

You see, we don't hear any news about school shootings in the Philippines. We also never heard of an actual serial killer or cannibalism, or sex slaves, or incest or anything that can catapult you into Satan's board of directors. Other countries are abundant with those kinds of abomination. We never had a Hitler, or a Mao Zedong. We have a few who tried but ultimately failed. I'm not saying not being the worst is all we should strive for, all I'm trying to say is that we aren't the only ones who fails in being a saint. Cut the Philippines some slack. It's way overdue.

Oo, totoo naman na minsan pakiramdam ko hindi talaga ako ligtas nung nasa Pinas pa'ko. Lalo na't talamak dati yung panloloob ng bahay sa Noveleta kung san ako lumaki. Lagi akong kinakabahan nun tuwing umuulan kasi dun naglalabasan ang mga halang ang kaluluwa. Nung high school ako, hindi rin ako kumpyansa na ligtas akong makakauwe ng bahay tuwing naglalakad ako sa may skwater area samin. Kelangan ko pa laging mag dasal kada sasakay ako ng tricycle kasi talamak din ang mga tricycle driver na nanakawan ka at itatapon ka nalang sa talahiban sa may Gentri. Dati naalala ko din nung nagaaral ako sa Las Piñas, na hindi ako makatulog sa van kahit antok na antok na ko kasi bali-balita na may nang-ha-hijack ng van at iiwan nalang kayo kung saan. 

Pero wala namang nangyari sakin awa ng Diyos. Meron ngyari sa katabi ko sa jeep oo, nanakawan siya ng phone. Meron din akong nakitang nasagasaan sa kalsada habang tinatanaw ko sa bus. Meron din akong nakitang riot sa may SM Dasma pagkatapos ng concert. Nakakita narin ako ng batang bugbog sarado sa hospital. Swertihan nalang siguro.

Narinig ko din sa radyo na minsan kelangan magibang bansa ng isang pamilyang Pilipino kasi hindi na nila ramdam na ligtas sila sa bansa. Meron din sinabi yung DJ na nung nanakawan sila, kelangan pa daw nila mag antay ng ilang buwan para malaman ang resulta ng imbestigasyon ng mga finger prints, kasi linya daw ang krimen sa bansa na kelngang unahin. Me nag-suggest pa daw sakanya na sana itinanong niya kung ano ang gusto ng mga imbestigador. Yung tipong, kelangan ko pa ba talagang mag lagay para makuha ang hustisya? Kumbaga may presyo ang katarungan sa Pinas, may tag price ang seguridad at kaligtasan ng bawat Pilipino.

Hindi ko 'to ma-elaborate sa totoo lang. Kasi wala akong first hand experience kung saan kelangan ko ng tulong ng batas. Pero kung impression lang ang paguusapan, Oo e, mejo wala talaga akong tiwala sa pulis natin. Kasi itsura palang hindi mo na

Exercise din kasi ser! Maiconnect lang din

igagalang. Sa totoo lang. Yung tipong itsurang napulot lang kung saan. Mababaw ba ang rason ko? Sa panlabas na anyo ba talaga nasusukat ang kakayahan ng isang pulis? Hindi. Pero malaking bagay  yun para galangin sila, kagaya ng pagdadamit ng disente ng mga titser sa high school. Bakit ang mga pulis dito ang lalaki ng tiyan, laging kala mong galing sa inuman. Laging buraot yung mukha. Yung pakiramdam mo pabalang kang sasagutin kapag hiningan mo ng tulong. Ayun nga kasi sinasabi ko. Kahit hindi naman totoo tong mga pagaassume ko, eto yung nararamdaman ko. Impression nga kasi. Ayun yung mensaheng sinasabi ng panlabas na anyo. Kaya importante na mag mukha silang disente, at ka-resperespeto.

Dito kasi sa Canada, o siguro sa ibang bansa nadin, rerespetuhin mo talaga yung mga pulis e. Yung matatakot ka pag andiyan sila kasi baka may magawa kang mali, at hindi dahil baka pagdiskitahan ka. Satin kasi pag may pulis kakabahan ka kasi baka ipitin ka e. Yung ganung pakiramdam ba. Dito siguro dapat sila magsimula. Ang pagbabalik ng respeto sa imahe ng kapulisan.

Eto na, nagsisimula na kong magkumpara ng magkumpara ng Pilipinas at ng Canada. I'm turning into someone I've always hated. Someone who I will resent for a very long time. But again, I want to stress out how you can never feel safe anywhere. Although it doesn't hurt knowing you can always dial 911 and know that help is coming. Also, it comforts me knowing that there are cctv cameras, that are actually working, scattered around the city. 

Pero ang nakakatawa lang, nung nagdadrive yung nanay ko kanina ,habang hinahatid ako sa trabaho, muntik na kaming makabangga. Nasabi ko nalang bigla. "Ano ka ba mot! Pagnakapatay ka dito tapos tayo. Sira na buhay natin! Buti sana kung sa Pilipinas tayo nakapatay, pwede pa nating bayaran!" Tangina talaga. Kung bakit lumabas sa bibig ko yun hindi ko maintindihan.


Btw, I wrote this piece way back before Duterte became president and I wanted to add my thoughts regarding all the killings and everything that involves the war against drugs,  but I rather not elaborate on it. Maybe, maybe all I can say is at the moment, again, opinions could change overtime, but for now, I'm just happy that the ones who are dying are the ones on the other side for once. It just makes me genuinely happy. I mean for now.